Puberty can be especially hard
Puberty brings sensory changes, mood changes, new social rules and body changes — all at once. SEND children may struggle with:
- Sensory overload from sweat, hair, smells, hormones
- Confusion about what is happening to their body
- Difficulty reading new social cues
- Anxiety, meltdowns or shutdowns increasing
- Bigger gap between physical age and emotional age
Start early
Don't wait for "the talk". Begin small, accurate conversations from around age 7–8:
- Use correct words (penis, vulva, periods, erection) — vague words confuse
- Use social stories, books and visuals
- Repeat. SEND children often need information many, many times
Periods
- Show period products before they're needed — let your child touch and explore them
- Practise opening pads, changing them, disposal
- Use a visual period tracker
- Pain relief, hot water bottles, comfy clothes — plan in advance
- Talk to the GP about heavy or painful periods — options include contraceptive pill, patch, coil, or in severe cases medication to stop periods
Body hygiene
- Build new hygiene steps slowly into the existing routine
- Sensory-friendly deodorants (roll-on, unscented)
- Visual shower/wash charts
- Same products, same order, same time
Consent and safety
Teach early and often:
- "Your body belongs to you"
- "You can say no, even to family"
- Private parts and private places
- Online safety, nudes, grooming (in age-appropriate language)
Do
- Be matter-of-fact, not embarrassed
- Use visuals, social stories, video modelling
- Plan for sensory overwhelm
Don't
- Don't assume they "already know"
- Don't use nicknames for body parts
- Don't leave puberty education to school alone
Puberty + SEND deserves more support, not less.