Overview
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice, name and respond to emotions in helpful ways. Many autistic people have alexithymia — difficulty identifying their own emotions — which makes regulation harder.
Key points to understand
- Big emotions can arrive without warning because of alexithymia.
- Interoception (sensing internal state) is often atypical.
- Co-regulation (a calm adult helping) is essential before self-regulation can develop.
- Tools that work for neurotypical people (deep breathing, mindfulness) may not work for autistic people.
Practical strategies that help
- Use Zones of Regulation, emotion wheels, or feelings thermometers.
- Teach interoception explicitly (heart rate, breath, muscle tension, hunger).
- Build a personal toolbox of regulating activities (stim, movement, deep pressure, special interest).
- Model co-regulation: 'I can see you're at a 7. I'm going to dim the lights.'
Common challenges to be aware of
- Emotional regulation skills take years — be patient.
- Suppressing emotions to fit in (masking) makes regulation harder, not easier.
How Bright Steps can help
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References & further reading
- National Autistic Society — Behaviour
- Challenging Behaviour Foundation
- NICE Guideline NG11 — Challenging behaviour
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