Selective Mutism
Selective mutism (also called situational mutism) is an anxiety-based difficulty where a child is able to speak in some situations but cannot speak in others.
For example, a child may talk freely at home but be unable to speak at school.
This is not stubbornness. It is not rudeness. It is not a child choosing to be difficult. The anxiety response can make speech feel physically impossible.
What it can look like
- Speaking at home but not school
- Freezing when spoken to
- Using gestures instead of speech
- Avoiding eye contact
- Whispering only to trusted people
- Looking blank when asked questions
- Becoming physically tense
- Avoiding social situations
- Struggling with greetings
- Panicking if pressured to speak
How to support
- Reduce pressure to speak
- Allow non-verbal responses
- Use yes/no cards
- Let the child point
- Build trust slowly
- Use graded steps (sliding-in approach)
- Avoid public attention
- Work with school and professionals
- Praise brave participation, not just speech
- Let communication happen through play first
Don't
- Force the child to speak
- Punish silence
- Put them on the spot
- Say "they talk at home, so they can talk here"
- Make speech the only way to participate
- Draw attention to them in front of others
- Bribe with rewards to speak — pressure increases anxiety
At school
- Allow alternative ways to register attendance
- Don't insist on reading aloud in class
- Use a trusted key adult
- Allow recorded answers
- Build relationships before expecting words
- Communicate in pairs or small groups first
When to seek help
Early specialist support makes a big difference. Speak to school SENCO, GP, or NHS speech and language therapy services. Charities like SMiRA (Selective Mutism Information & Research Association) also offer guidance.