Spotting what tips your child past coping
Behaviour that looks "sudden" usually isn't. There is almost always a build-up of unmet needs, stress, sensory input or anxiety before a meltdown, shutdown or refusal.
Common categories of trigger
- Sensory: noise, lights, smells, clothing, crowds, lunch halls, fire alarms.
- Demand: being told what to do, multi-step instructions, unexpected requests.
- Transition: moving from a preferred to a non-preferred activity, end of holidays, new term, new teacher.
- Social: group work, eye contact, conflict, friendship problems, being watched.
- Internal: hunger, tiredness, pain, hormones, illness, needing the toilet.
- Emotional: anxiety, fear of failure, embarrassment, shame, loss of control.
Keep a simple log
For a couple of weeks, note:
- What happened
- Where and when
- Who was there
- What had happened in the hour before
- What seemed to help
- What made it worse
Patterns often appear quickly — same time of day, same lesson, same trigger.
Share it with school
A clear list of triggers and supports is more useful to staff than a label. It tells them what to watch for and what to change.
Key message
Triggers are information, not excuses. Once you know them, you can plan around them.