Mainstream school is built on demands — bells, lining up, sitting still, listening, performing. For a child, that''s an avalanche.
Common pattern
- Year R/1 — coping, often masking
- Year 2/3 — increasing refusal, meltdowns at home
- Year 4–6 — emotionally based school avoidance (), school can''t see what parents see
- KS3 — collapse, attendance crisis
What schools should do
- Drop unnecessary demands and rules
- A safe adult and safe space
- Permission to opt out of assemblies, PE, group work
- Flexible timetable
- No rewards/sanctions systems (often makes it worse)
- Low-arousal classroom
- Adult uses -friendly language
- No "good morning" rituals or forced eye contact
When school isn''t working
- Reduced timetable (legally must be agreed with parents)
- (Education Otherwise Than At School)
- Specialist provision
- Home education + flexi-schooling
EHCPs
Most children need an . Push for:
- Section B: profile clearly described
- Section F: specific autism-/-informed support, low-arousal environment, key adult, flexible approach
- Section I: a school that actually understands — visit, ask the right questions
If your child can''t face school, please read our school avoidance resources. Forcing makes it worse.