Helping at home

Home is usually the safe space — and that''s your superpower.

Do

• Talk normally at home (don''t whisper or treat them as fragile)
• Let them order their own food in safe places like the takeaway you go to every week — give them time
• Praise effort and bravery, not "speaking"
• Use playful "talking games" with no expectations
• Plan visits with new people in low-pressure, child-led ways

Don't

• Don''t speak FOR them in situations where they would speak themselves
• Don''t reward them for speaking in feared settings — it raises the stakes
• Don''t announce their mutism in front of them ("She''s shy/she doesn''t talk")
• Don''t plan surprise social events

Sliding-in technique (the gold standard)

With an SLT''s guidance:

1. Child plays with parent in their classroom after school (no one else)
2. A favourite teacher joins quietly — no questions, just playing alongside
3. Slowly, the teacher takes over while the parent fades back
4. Sessions repeat until the child can talk to the teacher without the parent

Siblings

• Older siblings may speak for them — kindly ask them to wait so the child has space
• Younger siblings often get it intuitively

Look after yourself

SM is exhausting and often misunderstood. Connect with SMIRA''s parent forum.