Selective mutism (SM) is an anxiety condition where a child consistently can''t speak in certain situations (most often school) despite speaking freely elsewhere (usually at home).
It is NOT
- Shyness
- Being "stubborn"
- Choosing not to speak
- A speech and language problem
- Trauma (in most cases)
- Bad parenting
It IS
- An anxiety response — the body freezes, like a deer in headlights
- More than just being quiet — the child literally can''t force the words out
- Treatable, especially when caught early
- Often present alongside other anxiety and sometimes autism
How common?
About 1 in 140 children. More common in girls and in multilingual families.
Red flags
- Child has not spoken at nursery/school after the usual settling-in period (4–6 weeks)
- Speaks normally at home with close family
- May whisper to a sibling at school, or use gestures, but not speak to staff
- May appear "frozen" or expressionless in feared settings
What to do first
- Stop putting pressure on them to talk.
- Read SMIRA (Selective Mutism Information & Research Association) parent guidance.
- Speak to school — share that it''s anxiety, not defiance.
- referral to a speech & language therapist with SM experience.
Source: SMIRA UK, .uk